NWNY’s first Community Mixer of 2023 and maintaining motivation to pursue our goals

Last month, I attended New Women New Yorkers’ first Community Mixer of 2023 at Studio Exhibit, a photography studio in the Lower East Side. It was the first in-person NWNY event I had attended since I started volunteering with the organization in February 2020, right before the world swiftly shut down. I had been looking forward to that moment for a while. Typically, I would have felt hesitant to attend an event on my own where I had not met any of the attendees in person, but on this particular evening, I did not feel that way. I was welcomed by a group of staff, volunteers, and community members who were also looking forward to connecting with others that had moved to New York from another country.

Sitting at the table by the entryway were six jars representing six answers to three questions. The questions were: 1. How do you like to be recognized for something that you did well? (By a verbal congratulation or by being given added challenges), 2. How do you prefer to receive advice and tips? (By asking questions or by listening actively), and 3. What type of goal would you like to set today? (A professional goal or a personal goal). This activity set the tone for the evening, which was dedicated to facilitating discussions around setting goals and identifying sources of motivation. Our answers to these questions were used later in the evening to best match one community member with another to share our goals.

Attendees generously brought dishes that reminded them of home. After sharing these and catching up, we began an activity that involved dancing to music from different cultures and answering questions designed to cause us to reflect on our achievements and goals. The questions were:

1. Think about and write down one thing you are proud of about yourself.
2. Think about and write down one thing you are proud of doing in the past days/weeks.
3. Think about and write down one goal or something you want to accomplish.
4. Think about and write down something you did not achieve, but highlight what you learned.
5. Think about and write down one thing (specifically for yourself) that would make you very happy to accomplish/achieve.

We were not asked to share our responses with others, but we did disclose how the activity made us feel. The group agreed that these were questions we had not been regularly asking ourselves, and were it not for this activity, we likely would not have taken the time to reflect upon our answers. We recognized the importance of regularly taking a step back to admire our progress and consider what we could do differently to work towards our goals more effectively. We thought about what allows us to work towards our goals and what unique factors are essential to maintain inspiration and determination.

The event took place on a Thursday evening after the work day. While the weather this winter has been relatively mild, I find it difficult to leave the office when it is dark to catch up with friends or do activities. I have often heard it said that once Thanksgiving and the holiday season are over, there is just spring, warmer weather, and longer days to look forward to. Given that I am in my fourth winter in New York City, I can sympathize with this sentiment. Nevertheless, we should keep motivated to work towards our goals throughout the winter. I have been reflecting on what I enjoy doing during the season and what gives me the strength and motivation to pursue my goals.

For the last few weeks, I have been running three to four mornings a week, which has been a challenge in the cold, but one that I have found to be highly rewarding. I have been reading – mostly fiction novels – and I recently finished Pachinko, a historical fiction novel following a Korean family who immigrates to Japan, which was selected by the The New York Times as one of the 10 Best Books of 2017, and is one that I have recommended to family members and friends. I visited the Guggenheim museum to see the Alex Katz: Gathering exhibition. I threw a potluck dinner with my friends at my apartment, where we each prepared a dish to share. In January, my mum visited me in New York from Australia. We caught the train up to Hudson over the weekend that she was here. Each time I leave the city, I cherish it and wish I did it more often. We spent the long weekend wandering up and down the main street, hopping in and out of the many vintage and antique stores, and reading in our cozy Airbnb. In addition, I have been focusing on getting an adamant amount of sleep each night, eating well, meditating, taking long walks in the city, and talking on the phone with loved ones. The older I have gotten, the more crucial I have found these things to be for my daily functioning and overall wellness.

Before we wrapped up the evening at NWNY’s Community Mixer, we each sat down to a piece of paper and an envelope to write a letter to ourselves in the future, which we would open at the end of the year. It is exciting and a bit scary to think about how my life will be at the end of this year. I had an enjoyable evening at the Community Mixer and NWNY has plans to facilitate several Community Mixers throughout the remainder of the year. I encourage our community members and anyone interested to attend the next NWNY event.