Meet with Hsuan-Yu Pan, a NY-based woman documentary filmmaker originally from Taiwan

Interview conducted and written by Jahaida Hernandez Jesurum

 

On a cold April morning in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, I meet with Hsuan-Yu Pan. She opens the door with a warm, charismatic smile that seems to be a permanent feature of her face. We take the elevator to the apartment of one of her friends in the basement where, she explains, she is working on a film segment for BRIC, a Brooklyn-based art and media nonprofit. We are welcomed into the home of Kaoru Watanabe, a Japanese Taiko drummer, and Hsuan-Yu, with her flexible body, immediately starts to unload and set up tons of filming equipment, cameras, and microphones to get to work on her passion: filmmaking.

It is a sometimes unforeseen turn of events and decisions that led her to New York City, a place that for the past seven years she has called her home.

 

 

Jahaida: When did you come to New York City and why?

Hsuan-Yu: I first came from Taiwan to Michigan in 2001. I arrived on a student visa to pursue a Master’s after finishing my undergrad in business in Taiwan. It took me a long time to find a program in a Michigan school with a suitable multimedia major that would accept me. And after joining this program, I quickly realized that my English skills and scores would not be enough to fully succeed in a high level university. Three months of self-doubt and frustration later, I decided to go to New Hampshire where my father had moved from Taiwan to work with some distant relatives and friends to pursue their American Dream as Chinese restaurant owners.

 

Jahaida: So at this point, did you think of pursuing a career in the restaurant business with your father and family, or were you going to keep trying to enroll in an arts school in New Hampshire?

Hsuan-Yu: My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My mother was the reason I was able to come to the US as a student. She paid for my programs, expenses, and later on my tuition. I knew she still had my back. My first dream as a child was to draw comics, but in Asian countries your parents will only settle for medical school. I managed to get approval from them to study business because they thought that I could at least get a job in a bank. This would put me in a higher rank to get married, so it was ok.

But I was never inspired to pursue a career in business. Working in my father’s business never crossed my mind, and my mother gave me the chance to explore what I really wanted. What a gift! So after moving to New Hampshire with my father I started to look for schools in Boston. I dreamt about joining the Massachusetts College of Art and Design, I so much wanted to be accepted there. But I didn’t limit myself to it and applied to several schools.

 

Jahaida: In the end, which school accepted you?

Hsuan-Yu: A few schools accepted me, and I chose the University of Baltimore. There I went, changing my life again. I decided for a major in Publications Design. I was lucky to find a job on campus, and I was also able to join another program at Maryland Institute College of Art where I finally focused on filming.

 

Jahaida: I am assuming you graduated. What came after, how did you end up moving to New York City?

Hsuan-Yu: New York didn’t happen right away for me. I got my Master’s Degree after two years and was able to land an internship in Baltimore with a production company filming weddings. So I stayed in Baltimore for six years, mainly freelancing for them. Meanwhile, I realized that the filming world can be hard, it works gig by gig and competition is very high.

My dream was to film and edit movies, advertisements, TV documentaries, etc. but I didn’t have a specific goal. All I knew was living on freelance work was not very sustainable. At that point, I was financially on my own. The production company from Baltimore had gigs in New York, I decided to take the risk to relocate; it has been worth the while. I still freelance for this production company, but after I moved to New York I realized I had been in the wedding business for too long. So I started to explore other options. It was tough, and it still is, but I am optimistic!

 

Jahaida: Where do you stand in your career as a freelance woman filmmaker in New York City?

Hsuan-Yu: In filming and editing jobs I have never felt discriminated for being a woman, but competition is high and I am now trying to work under contract because of the financial security it can provide. For editing jobs the night shift is the entry level and young undergrads are more prone to be considered for these positions. And I understand this now.

In the process of studying and working my English improved a lot. But still today, I struggle with self-confidence when expressing myself verbally, so I prefer to write.

 

Jahaida: Have you ever felt the need to come back home to Taiwan for good?

Hsuan-Yu: No, I am not a quitter. I don’t give up. It’d be horrifying to go back home. Everyone would expect me to be married with children and to have a well-established, successful career. Here I stand a chance of getting recognition for my hard work. I am not dating, not planning to have children for now due to financial constraints, but I am able to support myself and I am focused on my goal.

Life is hard here, but I have an internship. I still work in weddings. I am currently producing my own reality TV pitch. I freelance for BRIC and I am networking on a social media platform with entrepreneurs just like me.

 

Jahaida: How do you cope with the stress at work and in the city?

Hsuan-Yu: I practice Karate. I have been lucky to find an amazing Karate team of friends, they have become a real family to me. Some of them are artists, one of them is a Grammy nominee. So they’re not only martial artists, we all have different backgrounds and come from all over the world. This is exactly what New York represents for me.

 

Jahaida: If you could tell a message to the younger you, the one who migrated to the US 14 years ago, what would you tell her?

Hsuan-Yu: Oh, this gets me so emotional (tears start to stream down her face, she removes her glasses, I hand her a napkin). I would simply tell her: “It’s a hard life, but don’t you ever give up!”

 

If you want to learn more about Hsuan-Yu Pan and her filmmaking work, visit her website here. Have a look too at the work of Japanese drummer Kaoru Watanabe, and at the vision and programs of the Brooklyn-based art and media nonprofit BRIC.