6 takeaways from our Conflict Management Community Workshop

This week, members of the NWNY community attended an engaging workshop on conflict management led by longtime volunteer Toni Liebman. During the session, participants discussed past conflicts, gained a better understanding on  what causes them, and learned some techniques to help them deal with conflict, be it at home or in the workplace.

At the end of the session, participants Dorothy, Virginia, Yuko, Maddie, Nadia, Olga, Isatou, Ekaterina, Sara, and Zoraya summarized the main takeaways from the session. Check it out below!

1) Conflicts are inevitable 
While we might want to avoid them, conflicts are a part of life, not necessarily a bad thing. The goal is always to try to reach a win-win situation, with an agreement between all parties involved. So avoid taking it personally.

2) Communication is key
Critical or mean remarks tend to escalate conflicts. So be aware of your own emotions and try to stay calm. Communicate openly and honestly, both verbally and non-verbally. Prefer sentences like: “When you (state the cause of conflict), I feel upset…”

3) Be a good (and reflective) listener
Validate the concerns of others. Intentionally ask for clarification (saying for example: “I’m not sure I understand…”), restate each other’s opinions (“what I think you are saying is…”) and reflect feelings (“I can see how upset you are…”).

4) Put yourself in other people’s shoes
Try to understand other people’s perspectives: How do they feel? What are they thinking? These are important questions to try to de-escalate conflicts and achieve mutual understanding. Listen to all sides and define the problem clearly, so all the parties involved can brainstorm solutions. 

5) Build consensus
Working in collaboration with others helps us to find mutually satisfactory solutions. Solid conflict resolution reinforces trust and respect, builds the foundation for future collaboration and leads to less stress in the long run.

6) Humor is your ally (sometimes)
Playfulness, when used respectfully, can reduce tensions and restore a sense of connection. So try to find a humorous way to deal with conflicts, whenever possible. Being able to laugh at ourselves helps us to be more spontaneous and less defensive when dealing with conflict.